Mailchimp’s acquisition announcement is an example of a positive message. In an email and statement on the website, Co-founder and CEO Ben Chestnut reveals the news in the third paragraph. The single sentence is in bold type, but it takes a while for the reader to get the message.

Chestnut provides reasons for the acquisition in this paragraph:

Together with Intuit, we’ll deliver an innovative small business growth engine powered by marketing automation, customer relationship management, accounting and compliance, payments and expense, and e-commerce solutions, creating a single source of truth for your business. We’ll also be able to offer more personalized support and onboarding, expand our international footprint, and scale our teams to innovate faster and deliver the solutions you want and need.

Both sentences, long and jargony, use “we” as the subject. I wish he had explained the decision in more natural, conversational language written from the reader’s—”you”—perspective. Why should I care? How will the change help me manage my business, etc.?

Students could rewrite the entire message and do a better job. The message is positive—and it could be persuasive. Otherwise, it could be interpreted as bad news, not good.