Six Compliments
/Let’s talk about positive messages for a change. A recent Time magazine article highlights research about giving compliments, something (almost) all of us like to receive.
Students can easily find ways to offer one of these six suggested compliments:
“You handled that situation so well.”
“You make even ordinary moments feel extraordinary.”
“I’m really impressed with your ability to work under pressure.”
“I love the way you bring out the best in people.”
“Hey, great earrings!”
“Your performance was brilliant.”
Research shows that we’re hesitant to give compliments, thinking they might sound insincere, but Vanessa Bohns and others say this is unlikely. Still, a worthy class discussion might focus on how students can use the above ideas but speak in their own natural voice. What would each sound like in particular situations and directed at friends compared to, for example, faculty, coworkers, or family members?
Also worth a discussion is the value of sincere compliments and avoiding them when we have ulterior motives. Students will probably have ready examples of when they have heard—and have given—compliments designed for a purpose other than elevating the receiver.
The article suggests saying “thank you” when we hear a compliment instead of dismissing it or disparaging ourselves, as some of us tend to do. This validates the giver and encourages them to give compliments to others.
